Dear 15 year old self…

Dear 15 year old self,

No, your awkwardness is not “just a stage”.  It seems you only become more awkward as you get older. I didn’t know it was possible, either. That guy you’re dating, it won’t last… you’ll be heartbroken. But if there’s anything I admire about you, it’s that you’re pretty resilient. And no, you haven’t met “the one” yet. Don’t worry you won’t feel ready anyway.

Know how you want to be a teacher? Yeah, you’re not. No, you concluded that after a year in college, God was calling you to be a nurse instead. I know! I was as shocked as you are. Binge watching TV shows on Netflix will become a thing, be careful because it can take over your life! (no kidding).. You will develop a borderline unhealthy addiction to Starbucks and Chick Fil A. You will find that you actually do enjoy reading and you will find you have a mind for C.S. Lewis.

The hurts you will endure will take their toll but please don’t let them steal your joy. Don’t let arrogance prevent you from learning new things, going new places or meeting new people. You will regret the way that you treat certain people but don’t let those regrets consume you, learn from them and move on. It’s okay to be a little spontaneous, not everything has to be planned perfectly.

Loving Jesus will become so much sweeter as you get older. You will learn things about God and about yourself that will amaze you. You will learn to trust. You will learn to forgive. You will learn to love yourself. You will learn to rely on God because when you rely on yourself, it ends in disappointment. You will learn so much in ten years; but one thing you must always remember is you will never stop learning and growing and building on the foundation that was started 19 years ago, at a Vacation Bible School, in  a small church in Odessa, Texas.

15 year old self, you will be okay. In 10 years you will feel the same way that you do now (think “deer in the headlights”). So stop trying so hard to be perfect and live knowing that God makes the imperfections perfect.

Love,
your 25 year old self

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